Schwarzesbrett » e. *caveat: If it is not raining, the roof should

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The 26-year-old Redditch, England, native played three of his past four seasons under Rennie with the Carolina RailHawks of the North American Soccer League.Either way, good chance Encarnacion goes yard.THURSDAY, MAY 29, 2014: MIKE GALLAYS BREAKING POINTIt was a lovely late afternoon in May when I rode by bicycle, short-sleeved, to the Rogers Centre. Numerous situational forces were aligned to create a fantastic night. No rain in the forecast for days, not too hot, just crisp enough to keep you foul ball-ready. The Jays, newly in first place, had won nine in a row, and a battle of aces (R.A. Dickey versus James Shields) was on tap. What commenced would live up to the billing: multiple towering homers, herculean Bautista throws conjuring memories of Jesse Barfield, the consumption of Rolling Rock tallboys, and timeless records being matched and smashed—where even the bitterness of an extra inning defeat could not diminish a fine night at the yard.Instead of basking in the exceptional circumstances, my buddy Shecky and I spent the bulk of the game cursing the teams roof policy, as an enjoyable evening was marred by a closed dome. 17,978 fans sat in a windowless room for three and a half hours wondering if theyd ever see another rainbow. The air was thick with our exhales, the yard more a convention centre with a shaggy plastic floor. Why was the roof closed?This has been a continual angst—and yawn—inducer since the SkyDomes inception, and a blight Ive attempted to expose and exorcise for years. Who is in control? Scouts, team lawyers, operational staff...not one has ever given me a straight answer.The Rogers Centre website responds to the question, "How do you decide whether to open or close the roof for an event?" with the following nebulous answer: "The decision to host an event, baseball game or football game with an open or closed roof, is based upon detailed weather information gathered by our Roof Technicians."Wait, weather-gathering Roof Technicians? According to a 2012 Toronto Star column, once reasonably warm weather has arrived, as long as the temperature is 10 degrees Celsius or above, opening or closing the roof is not a risk. Then and current Blue Jays SVP of Business Operations, Stephen R. Brooks explained that "at around 10 degrees, if we were to open the roof, and the temperature then dropped, we risk not being able to close it" because the metal rails may expand and contract depending on temperature.Fine. But who decides on a day with a high of 19, a game time temperature of 17, a low of 15, and a next day high of 23, that the roof should be closed? A Roof Technician? Pish posh. Who is this Grand Arbiter of the ceiling, and why will he or she not show a face or present a name? Is it a coach or the general manager acting as The Domes Official Roof Keeper (AKA The D.O.R.K.)? Or is there a mysterious cabal, with a velvet hooded helmsman at control, operating as The Master Of Roof Open Ness (AKA The M.O.R.O.N.)?And if so, did this covert M.O.R.O.N. not survive the same winter as the rest of us—the one that ended roughly three weeks ago? Seventeen degrees is bikini season. Seventeen degrees brings non-smokers out to patios. Seventeen degrees brings all the boys to the yard. Seventeen degrees and you keep the roof open.ddddddddddddREASONS TO HAVE A ROOF OVER A BASEBALL FIELD1. The weather is truly terrible.2. It is 1989, and for a few more months this novelty will seem like a good idea.In 1989, when the team was legitimately selling out the building with over 50,000 bums in seats and thousands of outlaw bags of peanuts being sold on Blue Jay Way, team brass presented Torontonians with a seemingly paradisal venue: watch the games in the comfort of the great outdoors and, should need arise, never miss a match due to inclement weather. According to RogersCentre.coms own Q&A, "the roof takes just over 20 minutes to open or close." Wow, so our emergency hot dog consumption preparedness plan is not just total, but nimble.Except, the team has abused its privilege. It has become an anxious parent, coddling the child in the playground. Fear not, dear executives. Little B.J. must learn to scrape his knees. People will survive. They may even purchase an eighty-five dollar long sleeve shirt at one of your conveniently-located Jays shops.I know Im not alone in this frustration. There exists a website dedicated to alerting would-be attendees — www.isthedomeopen.com — and a Twitter feed with nearly 2,500 followers — twitter.com/IstheDomeOpen — to the same end (its followers consistently demonstrate understandable bias towards keeping the roof open).Listen, if this whole rigamarole relates to on-field issues, lets address it now, and I will live with the stuffiness and dead air. Trying to boost offence? Okay. Trying to help Dickeys knuckler get even knucklier? Fine. Think the Blue Jays have better juju with the lid closed (which, historically, is technically true)? Okee-do-kee. But if its not because of these reasons, lets get some easy to follow rules going.RULES FOR A CLOSED ROOF1. If it is snowing within three hours of game time.2. If the heavens have been angered, and are creating a three-inch layer of ice around Toronto within three hours of game time.3. Locusts. Maybe frogs.4. If it is raining within 45 minutes of game time or predicted to rain during the game. *caveat: If it is not raining, the roof should be opened to a fractionally open position. Just the slightest breath of wind or the sight of a small window of sky is deeply comforting to the fan who wants to feel alive. Also, a great way to keep fans awake.5. If it is below 10 degrees Celsius at game time (since roof function apparently becomes an issue). *caveat: again, a fractionally open roof would be welcome in these conditions.6. If it was actually shown to help R.A. Dickeys effectiveness which it absolutely has not.Note: If you or a loved one is the M.O.R.O.N. I seek, please get in touch. Baseball is a grand game, often simply because it is played outside during the most pleasant section of our calendar. Please, mystery decision maker, lets hash this out to develop a system fans can anticipate. These life-affirming changes could both increase beer sales and prevent post-game sleepy driving conditions.Time to rally.GALLAYS POLL #12My favourite Blue Jays games are when the dome is:A) openB) OpenC) OPEND) I watch the games on tv. ' ' '